Here’s a scene from the studio recording session for the “Fade Out” audio book … complete with professional actors and sound effects! Now available through Amazon or Audible at https://tinyurl.com/FadeOutAudioBook

Dead Air Cover final lr

dead air podcast pix female gumshoe

Here’s another excerpt from the murder mystery podcast in “Dead Air,” book #2 in the continuing Behind the Mic Mysteries. It’s a take-off of the 1940s “film noir” days with a “gumshoe,” or private investigator and a “dame,” or woman, complete with a glossary at the end. Only in my story, the dame is the private eye, and a gentleman needs her help. This is Episode #2:

 

            The gent’s got sweat drippin’ down his forehead, nervous as a losing bookie at the track. He throws back the hooch and finally spills.

            “It’s…a woman.”

            “Ain’t it always about a woman? But I wouldn’t figure a good-lookin’ cat like you would have lady troubles.”

            “Actually, it’s my wife.”

            “Now we’re gettin’ somewhere. So, she’s stepping out? Fooling around?”

            “No, it’s about my wife.”

            “Oh, so you want me to find somethin’ on her so’s you can get a divorce?”

            “No, really it’s about me.”

            “You’re the one messin’ around? Spending time in a flophouse?”

            “No, no. I think someone’s trying to kill me.”

            The glass in my paw drops, shattering on the wood floor into a million pieces. 

 

Episode 3:

Mysterious music fades up full and under, and my voice begins.

Welcome back to ‘Murder in the Air Mystery Theatre.’ I’m Lauren Price. Tonight on ‘L.N. Pane, P.I.,’ a gentleman needs our female private investigator’s help to find out who’s trying to kill him.”

            “Sorry, ma’am, didn’t mean to shock you,” the handsome gent says as he helps me clean up the sharp, shiny shards from the smooth surface.

            “Nah, the glass was just slippery, yeah, that was it.” Little did he know that this was exactly the kind of case I had been hankering to land. I’d had my fill of insurance fraud and infidelity by spouses to last me a lifetime. But attempted murder? This could be my ticket to the big time.

            “Do ya know who’s tryin’ to kill you?”

            “My wife.”

            “And how do you s’pose she’s trying to off you?”

            “I think it’s poison.”

            “How do you feel? Are you sick? Do you have any symptoms?”

           “Actually, I feel fine.”

            “Hold on, then why do you suspect poison?”

            “Because I’ve been seen a lot of arsenic in the house.”

            “I smell a rat.”

            “I’m glad you agree with me.”

            “No, literally, maybe she’s trying to kill a rat in your house.”

            “What? No, we don’t have any rats or mice or rodents of any kind that I know of.”

            “Okay, we’re gettin’ nowhere fast. I think I’d better pay a visit to the missus. My fee is $200 a day plus expenses. Any problem with that?” He doesn’t need to know I’d do this job for free. 

            “Oh, no, I’ll give you your first day’s pay right now.” He pulls out a check and writes it for the full pair of Cs.

            I can tell I’ve got a live one here, but I play it cool. “Thank you, Mr. Harrington,” I read from the check, which I tuck into my brassiere. “I’ll be in touch.”

            “Wait, my wife can’t know I’ve hired you!”

            “Trust me, she won’t suspect a thing.”

            “Will the lady private eye be able to figure out if the good looking gentleman’s life is really in danger? Stay tuned for the next podcast of ‘Murder in the Air Mystery Theatre.’ I’m Lauren Price. Thanks for listening.”

            From my laptop at the apartment, I enter a few keystrokes. I barely have any energy left, but the campy mystery theatre podcast I write and produce is a creative outlet and a good escape, a diversion, from the serious and sometimes depressing crime beat I cover on a daily basis. But tonight especially, it’s also an attempt to lighten the heaviness in my heart from today’s horrible events. The screen shows the podcast is saved, and I take the last sip from my glass of white wine and close the lid.

TO BE CONTINUED

GLOSSARY Film Noir Slang, in order of use

Glad rags: Fancy clothes

Ankle: to walk

Up-and-down, as in “to give something the up-and-down”: A look

Dick: Detective. Usually qualified with “private”

Jaw: Talk

Dame: Woman

Stiff: A corpse

Tail: Shadow, follow

Patsy: Person who is set up; fool, chump

Broad: Woman

Bulge, as in “The kid had the bulge there”: The advantage

Gum-shoe: Detective; also gumshoeing = detective work

Gams: Legs

Pack: To carry, esp. a gun

Heat: A gun

Buy a drink: To pour a drink

Square: Honest; on the square: telling the truth

Fade: Go away, get lost

Hooch: Liquor

Spill: Talk, inform; spill it = tell me

Cat: Man

Flophouse: “A cheap transient hotel where a lot of men sleep in large rooms”

Off: Kill

C: $100, a pair of Cs = $200

Pad: House

 

Other Short Stories Available

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SoWest: Crime Time: Sisters in Crime Desert Sleuths Chapter Anthology (Volume 5)

By Sisters in Crime Desert Sleuths Chapter Authors, Merle McCann, Margaret Morse, Kris Neri, Nancy Hart Newcomer, Toni Niesen, R K Olson, Cathy Ann Rogers, Martin Roselius, Amy Schuster, Jackie Sereno, Louise M. Signorelli, Kate Joy Steele, Shannon Baker, Susan Budavari, Yvonne M. Corrigan-Carr, Laurie Fagen, Katherine Atwell Herbert, Machelle Langseth, Kari Wainwright

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